It’s been a long time since I updated my blog. It was for a
few reasons. The leading candidates were 1) I don’t want to talk about specific
cases of Volunteer support even if I don’t include the names 2) there’s been
less to say about what’s been going on in Dupax and 3) procrastination.
However, I’m getting around to catching up. Hopefully in the
next couple weeks I’ll make up for my long, eight month absence from the blog.
Dupax del Norte and my Pride
One of the things I learned very quickly in Peace Corps was
that I needed to keep my wild expectations in check. Although I had a pretty
good idea I wouldn’t be starting any massive chain reaction of development and
success that would affect thousands, I did have that vain hope, testing the
waters to see if I wasn’t the chosen one to save the day, not surprised when
the answer was a clear “no sir, you are not.” However, even with over two years
of checking myself, being realistic and mindful, I found myself unprepared to
watch the projects and work I had dry up.
The Third Annual Leadership Summit was postponed from
December to April, and then was postponed yet again when April rolled around.
The last barangay I had hopes for to get an out of school youth organization for
fell apart in part because it was too far away to easily access, in part
because too many parts were stalling, but also in part because I lost my own
steam. It’s that last part that really struck home, that despite all my
experience, despite being given the position of the “leader”, I was still just
as prone to make mistakes. As my Sector Manager put it, I had a lot of reasons
for why things weren’t going smoothly, but not enough to account for how much I
had stalled. The irony of offering advice to Volunteers who were struggling
with some of the same problems I had wasn’t lost on me, but then again at least
it gave me a lot of perspective when I spoke to them, and through it gave
myself some good pointers at the same time.
Ultimately, the Pagasa Youth Association, my number one
reason for extending a third year, will not be a reality when I leave. I’ll be
compiling as much information as I can on it for someone else, whether another
Volunteer, or more likely my office, to try to tackle on later, but at this
time it’s something that requires more people power than is there at the
moment. The youth summit looks like it’s still a go for before I leave, most
likely late August, and I may have a few smaller things to do between now and when
I leave in October, but that big, shining bar that I was trying to jump over turned
out to be a little too high, and though it’s taken some months for my pride to
fully accept it, I can say with certainty that my success in my third year
doesn’t hinge on that project alone.
One thing I do appreciate about Peace Corps, are the lessons
in failure. I know, it sounds pretty pessimistic, but I don’t really mean it in
that way. We all make mistakes, no one’s perfect, and accepting the losses that
have come has been a pretty liberating experience coming from a country that
always like to be number one. Although my primary project didn’t work out, the
world is still spinning, I can still walk with my head held high, and Dupax is
still my home away from home. Next big thing I undertake (and I’m sure they’ll
be plenty) I’ll be wiser.
The Annual Report
One little gem I got to work on as PCVL was our 2013 Annual
Report, which serves as a brochure primarily used for our in-country partners
and potential sites for Volunteers. I never really had any experience in
marketing, and only a few school projects here and there for making promotional
materials, so it was a chance for me to work on something I wasn’t very
familiar with.
I had always put down that I was proficient with Microsoft
Word on my resume before, but playing around with it trying to put picture in
the right place, get text to slide over, made me realize I didn’t know as much
about it as I thought I did. With a little help, and some patience, I worked
out the kinks though, and was able to pull it off. Although it’s still not my
expertise, I think it’ll be a lot easier next time I have something similar to
work on.
Manila
One of the changes we undergo in the Peace Corps is getting
used to what is the extraordinary back in America. Live chickens on a bus?
Exotic foods? A vastly different language? Different cultural norms? At first
we trip over the roots and rocks thrown in our way as we try to get our feet
accustomed to the new ground, and in time we do. A lot less phases me now
whether it’s typhoon winds and rain, street animals, or treacherous roads.
However, Manila is a slightly different animal than the rest of the
Philippines, one of the most densely populated cities in the world, and where I’ve
been spending about half my time this last year.
The Peace Corps gave me an apartment in Manila, a place they
intend to use for future PCVLs (and two Volunteers have now been selected and
will officially be taking over for me mid-September), and although our pension
house had a lot of good memories, having a place to myself was really nice. I
didn’t refuse the opportunity to cook my own food, have my own bed. On a major
street that doesn’t get too many foreigners, the kids around figured out in
just a few days that I was a regular and stopped asking for money. As I’ve
mentioned in the past, I’m not really in a position to help an entire family on
the streets, and when I mention in Tagalog that I work with the Social Welfare
and Development Office, they walk away. I’ve found a few places in the area
that have been great, a large grocery store where I can go hog wild and get a
lot of what I missing back in America, and a hot wing joint where I can spend
way too much money on. With all these things, this big city hasn’t been as bad
as I had feared, however there is one thing that has been a pretty big lesson
for me.
There have been days where going home from the Peace Corps
office I’ve been tired, annoyed, even upset, and I’ve seen the families on the
street smiling, laughing, despite having nothing but a box over their heads,
and some of the children not even having clothes. My favorite teacher in high
school once quoted a friend of his saying that being rich didn’t make one happy,
for they had seen many unhappy rich people, but it was better to be unhappy
with money than unhappy without it. Sitting back in my place, with a hot meal
on the table, a warm drink in my hands after those tougher days, I can’t say I
always managed to make myself smile again, but I certainly appreciated and felt
blessed for what I did have, no matter the problems the morning and afternoon
had brought. As to how I feel about the large gap in wealth? Well, that’s
something I’m still thinking about, and an exception to the things I’ve become
accustomed to. Perhaps more thoughts on it another day.
Changes to the Peace Corps
Recently the Peace Corps has made some changes. You can now
ask for a specific country and program rather than request a general
preference. Same sex couples are now being allowed, and as an extension
unmarried couples (since not all states allow same sex marriage, thus making it
impossible for some same sex couples to sign up otherwise, but if they’ll allow
some non-married couples, they need to open it for all). The process is also
supposed to be faster now.
Early in the year I was part of a training for same sex
couples as the Philippines was considered a country where they might send one
of the first same sex couples. The point of the training was to make sure there
weren’t any preparations of extra considerations we had to make if we did
receive a couple. The general consensus was not really, that it wouldn’t take
that much extra work. We did not get a same sex couple this year though,
however the training was still interesting, and at least it’s taken care of for
when such a couple eventually does serve in the Philippines.
Summary of Part I, and Coming Up Next…
Mistakes, hard lessons, and more challenges, it’s the bread
and butter of service. Although I’m still waiting for the day when I look back
on something I’ve undertaken and say, “That went absolutely perfect, wouldn't change
a thing!” I realize that is the day I stop learning.
I’ll be talking more about what being the PCVL has meant to
me, a few notable experiences, and plans for after Peace Corps now that I’m
pretty set on what’s coming next. Hopefully the next part will be up in a week
or so while I still have a little free time.
